混日子

又是两个月。 没什么长进。 不能这样下去。 Time for a change. A positive one.

Shen Zhen

Last time I was here was the Summer of 2007. I had not seen my parents for 3 years at that point, so for the very first time I booked a personal trip to China to visit them. It just so happened that a recruiter for Tencent contacted me for some interviews in Shenzhen that Summer. Long story short, I was a different person back then.

Compared with then, I'm now more conscious of what I eat, about working out and maintaining a balanced mindset. Compared with then, I'm now also more familiar with the China work dynamics.

Shenzhen is a quickly commercialized city. This time around, I haven't found anything unique about it. It's natural qualities would quality it for a Singapore-like city development, but unforunately everywhere you turn, it's business signs. I can't imagine myself living here.

I'm typing this because of severe jetlag. It's 2am. Wish me luck in getting some sleep!

work smart series

not at peace with myself lately. By nature, I'm a conflict avoider, despite my straight talk style. the business process and structure at work doesn't make much sense. my peer is granted way too much power and budget resources and he's not shy from wielding his power. he's poached my key stakeholders with his money behind my back.

finally i'm starting to understand what it means when people say business is a game.

went to a seminar. the speaker said for women to be more successful, we've got to work LESS. work less so we have sometime to manage the right relationships and our career. join the right circles, go to the right after-work parties, hang out with the right people who can help you.

i accidentally bumped into one of the relatoinship leaders in this country. i had a follow up call with him. his comment on relationships were very revealing.

one of my advisors also said similar things to me.

work with the willing. build personal relationships with those decision makers first. they can help you influence others if necessary.

long ways to go for me. but i know i can do it.

wish i knew all this when i was in my late 20s. but better late than never.

met a woman at the above-mentioned seminar. we hit it off immediately. she turned out to be the wife of one of my former co-workers. fairly successful. good contact to have.

need to go out and meet more people.

The Year 3000

in year 3000, i come back to the US of A. The cities in this once wonderful country look like the Beijings and Shanghais in the 21st century. What has gone wry in human's over-abuse of Earth?

...

Meditation

found myself happy tonight. Then realized it was the group meditation that did the trick.

Lesson learned: do more meditation. :-)

I enjoy these moments of self-reflection. So quiet. Alone with myself. I like it. Very lucky to have the time, space and health and spirit to do this.

I wish Mom had the opportunity to experience meditation. Unfortunately she is so caught up in the manifest world and hasn't seemed to find her path to spirituality. The living condition in China also doesn't help much.

Will call her tomorrow.

New Year's Resolutions

CNY is around the corner. Feb 2, Beijing time to be exact.

F, my GF from Seattle, will be in town with her significant other and daughter. We'll have a New Year's dinner together.

Time for my New Year's Resolutions.
1. eat breakfast. (i'm good with this when i'm traveling. with the crazy work hours these days, hard to get up at the right time for breakfast, but i'm resolved to eat something after i get up vs. wait till late afternoon)
2. work out for one solid hour per day, at least 3 days a week.
3. do a hike at least once every 2 weeks. ideally once a week.
4. blog at least once a week. need to come back to writing.
5. eat well and healthy. reduce greasy diet. eat more salad, fruits.
6. learn to cook and clean.
7. travel to at least 2 new places this year. i think this one is easy to accomplish.
8. focus more time on family.
9. work smart, meaning be more strategic about my time.
10. training. last year, didn't get to participate in any training due to budget cuts and too much travel. this year, it's a must.

silence

Went to the first session of the 7 spiritual laws of success.

Too bad F didn't seem to be into this sort of thing and he had to leave a few minutes into it. Sometimes I worry about his fear for interacting with others.

It turned out to be a good session. Learned a few tactics I should practice, for example, practice silience, don't judge, meditate.

I like the way the instructor makes the class flow. I'm planning to go back next week.

Power

reading a book on Power. So far, it's a very enjoyable read. The theories, examples, tips are easy to follow and accept. Of course, to really use the tips in the book to attain power, you'd have to practice, practice and practice.

Power is an over-studied topic in China, but not so much in the US. Partially because the benefits of having power are accenturated in China than those in the US. Reflected in my personal life, I stopped paying attention to the "discipline" of power acqusition right after I came to the US in my mid-20s. After all, the belief is your professional skills would help you succeed, not power in this democratic country.

The theories offered in this book bear some surprising resemblence to the things I used to hear my Mom talk about, when I was growing up. The main difference is the author talks about it in a fact of matter way and as something anybody aspiiring to succeed should pay attention and ultimately attain; whereas when Mom used to talk about it it was more in a cynical "i know the game, but i don't want to play the game" type of way.

So in that light, it may not be a bad thing that for 13+ years, I didn't get to learn much on Power. 13+ years is enough years for me to unlearn the negative connotations associated with Power, as influenced by my Mom.

This is in no way a criticism on my Mom. Given the social environment and the few select ways to attain power in her times and in her environment, one should be able to understand where her sarcasm may be coming from.

I'm in the thick of reading it. Will share some key takeaways next time.

Power to me. Power to those who want to make a difference.

New New Life

Really not happy about Microsoft discontinuing its Live Spaces offering. It was my platform to blog, and keep in touch with a few friends. I appreciated the self-reflective nature of blogging there. Plus it was a place for me to store my pictures and it was integrated with Live IM etc.

Oh, well.

I'm back here.

It's been at least 1.5 months since I last wrote something.

A lot has happened inbetween. I spent 1 week in HK and 1.5 weeks in Beijing. I enjoy being able to explore different cities/locations, sans the tiring flying aspect of travels. However, on my way back from Beijing, I sat next to a somewhat intriguing character. He's "invented" some drug in China and in an odd way I had a somewhat engaging conversation with him. So I didn't get much sleep at all on the 11-hour flight back to SFO.

Something happened in Beijing. I finally came to the realization about my relative position in the organization and I approached my boss to validate my observation. It was a shocker to him to some degree. I guess things all had been evolving so fast and he probably didn't realize what he had intended to focus on could have such an un-intended byproduct in terms of team dynamics and folks' feelings. At least we put things on the table.

Note to self. Always be clear with what I want.

I had some notions in my mind and I'm questioning if this all is worth a potential major cross-continent relocation. I guess naturally pepole saw that I appeared pre-occupied.

Note to self. Be discreet with showing my emotions.

Thanks to Ms. King who helped me sort out my thoughts and provided invaluable advice.

Another person at work, though a friend, ended up doing some damage to my situation. She brought up what I shared with her in confidence to my VP, who in turn made the comment that I'm smart but don't know what I want.

I know what I want. I am just frustrated with not being to get what I want.

Note to self. Share my thoughts strategically with people. Anticipate what they may do with my thoughts.

Quite frankly, I'm both a bit upset at her and a bit upset at myself for having told her my situation.

Need to watch what I say to people. I can't seem to keep a secret. Yuck.